Sept. 27. 2012. 7:32 a.m.
Dear Arthur,
I am upset with you for not communicating with me about our children, Taymar and Arthur Jr.
I am upset with you for not taking initiative in being a supportive parent.
I am upset that you allow your fiancé to have control of how you and I parent our children and I don't understand how you put your fiancé before your own children.
I don't understand why you have your fiancé involved with the decisions of Taymar and Arthur. Why do I have to go through your fiancé when it comes to our children?
Well, I tell you what, I am not doing it anymore. Last time I checked, Jasmin wasn't there the day we conceived our children, nor was she there when I gave birth. She wasn't part of our lives when we decided to go our own separate ways. She didn't help us decide on the type of life, family we were going to have once the divorce was final. And when she did become a part of your life she was 100% disrespectful to the mother of your children. (Since I started this letter the fiancé is now your wife...however, this doesn't entitle her to have a say on how you and I parent our children.)
I had Taymar and Arthur Jr., with you, 17 and 15 years ago, respectively. We had those children out of love, not by accident. We were a family and when the marriage came to an end you and I agreed to keep the line of communication open and do what's best for Taymar and Arthur. Unfortunately, you did not hold up to your end of the agreement.
I don't understand why you do not call your kids on their birthdays, holidays, just because days.
I don't understand why you don't visit your kids.
I don't understand why you show no concern of our children's well being.
I don't understand why you don't financially support your kids. $850 over the course of three years isn't acceptable.
I don't understand how you think the health insurance you just gave your kids access to six weeks ago is sufficient for support. Please keep in mind that I've been the primary health care provider for them going on six years now. The box of school supplies you sent for the first time in three years, was extremley helpful but it is not enough. What about the money for school clothes you promised to send. The children still needs money for lunch, athletic fees, SAT and ACT fees, college visits, allowance, you know...all the things that goes along with raising teens. I am not asking you to take care of all of these expenses but you should put in a little something. They are your children too!
I don't understand how you can go back on your word now that the tables have turned. In the beginning, when the children were living with you after the divorce, I took care of Taymar and Arthur. Money every week in our joint checking account, I paid for their breakfast and lunch at school, whether it be by sending a check to school or going online to mylunchmoney.com. When your mother told me to stop sending you money because you weren't using it for the kids I decided to take charge and just send them care packages every month. Clothes, toiletries, school supplies. When Arthur out grew his bed I ordered one from Ikea and had it delivered to the house. You and I both know that I took care of our children when they were in your care. Why aren't you taking care of our children now that they are in my care?
I don't understand why you think it's okay to put your kids on a connecting flight during the busiest holiday season of the year, Thanksgiving. You never allowed me to put them on connecting flights when they traveled up to see me because that is what you and I agreed to. You never gave me a choice. You don't support them in any way, so why not just pay the extra money and put them on a direct flight?
I don't understand why you always break your promises to Taymar and Arthur. "I'll send you money for school clothes," you say. "I'll be there for your graduation," you say, only to call three days before to tell them you can't afford to fly or drive up. It's pathetic!
The average custodial parent would take you to court for child support. The average non custodial parent would just do what is right and support his/her children. So why haven't I taken you to family court for child support? First off, I am trying to honor my word when we decided to split. No child support because we will do what is best for our children. Second, to be honest, you haven't been able to hold down a job since you were honorably discharged from the USMC. And I feel sorry for you. Despite the unlucky hand of cards you were dealt, I trusted that you were going to keep your end of the deal and do your part, even if it was just a little.
(And since I started this letter I finally put my emotions aside and filled out and turned in the documents for child support.)
Warm Regards,
Your Ex
*This letter was never sent.
*This letter was never sent.
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